Apple Sauce vs. Mitt Romney for President

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

In the great Presidential race of 08′, several canidates remain. One in particular, of Mormon faith; Mitt Romney, although encouraged by the recent bailing of Rudy Guiliani, may do well to prepare himself against the onslaught of a dark horse canidate namely: apple sauce. The most significant problem this potential new comer to the presidential race would pose to Mitt would be the fact that it contains more truth and believe-ability in a single jar of itself then in the entirety of Mitt’s professed religion. To expound on this point, apple sauce does in fact, come from apples which of course comes from an apple tree, which not only is historically proven to have existed but in addition actually exists today. This, unlike even the most minuet shred of archeological evidence supporting the accounts of the alleged massive civilizations detailed in the Book of Mormon for which there is the big goose egg or rather, lack thereof. Furthermore, apple sauce contains approximately 90 grams of potassium per serving of itself which is greater than anything Mitt Romney could possibly contribute to our country as President simply because the guy either a) MUST be kidding (and let’s hope so, he’d make a great CB) or b) is clean OUT HIS MIND. If Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney does literally believe in Mormonism… can we then infer that, if elected President, we too will be Gods and Godesses of our own planets or is his ascension to the most powerful position on earth merely the fulfillment of his own personal faith journey? Lastly, if this is going to be THAT kind of presidential race; “I’ma stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!”

Do U CB??

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